It’s true; most folks don’t have air conditioning in Teton Valley. Sure, it gets hot, but is the cost of air conditioning worth the few weeks you’ll need it? Probably depends on how much money you’ve got. Teton Valley old-timers will tell you they are a tough breed, because that’s what it takes to be a Teton Valley old-timer, and dang if you’ll catch them wasting money on such nonsense.

It’s not climate change we’re talking about here. Hot weather is nothing new to Teton Valley. We’ve had days in the 90s F as far back as records go, which isn’t really very far, but we make do with what we have around here. Sometimes, a spell of hot weather makes someone a believer; they take the plunge and go full-on reverse cycle whole home central AC. Those people are my best friends; I visit them often in July and August. I’ll even bring the beer or the lemonade, whichever is appropriate.

Speaking of alcohol, a nice cold beer, or if you’re feeling continental, a nice cold gin and tonic might seem like just the thing on a hot day, and it will be very refreshing for a short time. But alcohol has a way of opening up your blood vessels which ends up making you warmer in the summer and colder in the winter. But then, if you drink enough, you won’t care anyway, so what the heck.

There are some tricks that the sons and daughters of the Teton Valley pioneers know to stay cool in the summer. One is not to get a job working in the silos. Moving pipe is better. It’s hard work, but at least you’re out in the breeze and probably all wet. At home, it’s a good idea to close the east-facing windows, doors, and curtains in the morning and put the fan on the open west-facing side. But then, long about noon, you have to switch it up when the sun moves over to the west side of the world. If you’re lucky enough to have an attic fan, close all the windows but one and sit in front of that one with as little on as you dare. The fan will draw a nice cool breeze in that window for you.

Another important thing to know is what to say and not say when it gets hot. If you say, “It’s so hot, the dogs are sticking to the sidewalks,” people will know you aren’t from around here. We like our dogs and the thought of them sticking to the sidewalks isn’t very funny… Okay maybe a little. But we really don’t have that many sidewalks either, so there ya go. And if you say something like, “It’s hot as the devil’s armpits,” everyone will figure you’re from the South and try to sell you a swamp cooler. (Which, by the way, work pretty well when the humidity is low, and that’s pretty much always in these parts.) Folks from around here will likely just say, “dang, it’s hot,” and wait. They know it’ll cool off, and in six months, it’ll be 30 below again. Ahhh!

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